Birch Dragons

Most people, when thinking of Sacajawea are reminded of a young First Nations girl who was of invaluable assistance to the Lewis and Clark expedition, in which the first Europeans found the Pacific Ocean by foot.

However, what few people know is the extent to which she helped them.

As Lewis and Clark headed across the natural and breathtaking mid-America, there were times when sleep came hard. The two explorers found themselves inexplicably nervous, and even fearful. There was no rhyme or reason, as far as their pale eyes could see.

It was because of this that they sought a Native guide. During one encounter, a First Nations person was able to communicate the question, "Do you fear at night?" Not understanding the meaning, but most certainly knowing the answer they vigorously nodded, "Yes." After a difficult and arduous interpretation of what nodding means, they were on their way now knowing to seek a guide. Somehow the nervousness was tied directly to their campsites, but they couldn't put a finger on it.

In fact, it wasn't until the mid-nineteenth century biologist and biogeologist Franz Unger began to study the possible causes under the lens of Humboldtian science that the Birch Dragon was revealed the the scientific world.

Birch Dragons, as their interpreted name would suggest, live in birch trees and are attracted to fire. It is a semi-suicidal tendency, similar to a honey bee's sting. They are small in size, comparable to an ordinary ant, but red-stripped. They can typically withstand high temperatures, and use this as a defensive mechanism to ward off enemies. If this defense fails, the Birch Dragon contains a natural acid that is released in death or extreme defense. Different from the related pederin, the acid of the Birch Dragon (nemocodin) acts as a psychological switch of the hippocampus.

While it is widely known that the amygdala is our fear receptor, nemocodin does not actually cause fear. Rather, as a governor on a car limits the speed the vehicle can attain, the hippocampus limits the "rate of fear" (if you will) at which people become afraid by ignoring specific signals determined to be an unsubstantial fear trigger. Nemocodin simply removes this limiter, allowing any sort of childish trigger to cause fear. Nervousness is more common effect, as most rational adults subconsciously explain away the fear, but there is still that nagging impulse trying to warn them of a danger they cannot perceive.

Combining these two discovered attributes of the Birch Dragon, it was deduced that when Lewis and Clark would pitch camp in or near a grove of birch trees, their campfire would attract the Dragons, which would then invariably drown in their stew, or become stuck on a cooking piece of meat. Because of their small size they were never noticed by the explorers, but the ingestion of nemocodin would create a nervousness which was unexplainable to them until modern science.

But Sacajawea knew of the relationship between fires and birch trees, even if she didn't know of the Birch Dragon's role exactly, and she was able to guide them to camp in birch-free zones, allowing them to sleep with increased confidence and continue more vigorously on their journey.

And if you believe that tale, my friends, I have a bridge in the backyard you can buy.