God has a funny way of doing things.
Day four, and I have yet to see Longonot. It is the mountain I most identify with "home": around it I rode my piki, and everything that happens at the Rift is overshadowed, quite literally, by Longonot. It is the trademark of home. The waypoint, the differentiation, the icon. If any of you are my friend on Facebook, you'll notice that even though I've had a Facebook account for three years, Longonot has always been my profile picture, because it represents something important to me.
But it has been four days "home" and no sign of the mountain. It didn't disappear, there is just a white mist hanging over the valley, keeping it from view. The mountains where the school is are clear; just the valley is full of mist.
It is as if God is saying, "This land doesn't welcome you back as the person you were, for the purpose you were here." As if He were saying to me, "See, this is your closure. The mountain that once embraced you as its own now releases you." But beneath it there is as well, "Don't forget, nor forsake what this mountain meant to you. Find purpose in the life you have now without need to purge the life you had here."
Doesn't He have a funny way of things?
And it has been a good time of closure. Not that I feel I could've ended things any better than I did my senior year; there weren't threads left to tangle. It is a different kind of closure and a good one.
A close friend sent me an e-mail yesterday, a friend dear to my heart, and in it there was the remark, "I am glad you get to be where you are happy." It hurt to read those words, and I now see how my obsession with Kenya was a slap in the face of this friend --and not only this friend, but many others as well. In my repsonse I made it clear, as I hope to make clear now, that I find myself no more happy here than I was in California. I just never realized how blessed my life was, simply because it wasn't occuring in Kenya. But I am growing up, and I thank you, my friends, for your patience with me as I do it. I thank God for the blessings He has given me, both here in Kenya and in California. I thank Him also for five more weeks in Kenya and two more years in California, and I trust I will learn to be a more faithful servant to His will.
And I trust that you, my friends, will continue to be patient with me, helping me to grow into who God would have me be, where God would have me be.
in Him,
me.
Isaiah 1:17-20
Wrytology
4 comments:
Hi Kaben. Thanks for sharing your reactions and thoughts! Even though this is a superficial comment, I appreciate your ability to put your deep thoughts into words. You are even improving upon the Kramer tradition. Like I said, superficial, but fun. grma
Great symbolism and interpretation! It reminds me of a certain Ms. Margret Larner, who decided for herself that her return to her father's household must be incognito because she had changed. The land would welcome back the old "Peggy," but her new self would never be at home. It also makes me consider my own flaming desire to escape California at some indeterminate time in the future, and whether that place would ever be home. I hope the experience continues to be exciting and challenging.
-Rob
Isn't it amazing how God can reveal such profound insights/realizations in what appears, at first glance, to be such a roundabout method yet is tied so tightly to our memories and feelings? It makes it even more special, that He knows our hearts and the way each of our mind works to make the message so personal...and you did a great job of explaining it. I can never quite explain to others how something like that makes perfect sense with the crazy lesson I just learned. Thanks for sharing, friend!
Great work.
Post a Comment